About one third of marriages fall apart apparently. The two thirds who are lucky and or have worked their relationship to always grow. Congratulations.
For those of us in the one-third and have found new love and even perhaps started another family, then good luck to you. I hope this one is long lasting. I am in this category. My first wife and I parted ways and I found a new love. Jobelle Alaysa and I started a new family. My situation is not all cosy because of various reasons. I am not officially divorced, my partner lives overseas with child and I am a Filipino living in Australia. Financially, it is very difficult. I am always broke and out of pocket. Does tone sounds so familiar to you?
Income and Child Support
I work for a living, earning an average income—which doesn’t help my cause. As an average earner, I struggle for survivability on one income. Filipinos often see, that if you work or live overseas that you are rolling in money. This seems to be the perception there in Philippines. But it is not the case. We who lives and works abroad, do struggle a lot! it’s not easy. what makes it worse, is that having two families makes it even harder.
I pay child support. Almost one quarter of my income goes to child support. On top of that, the normal living costs that I pay to maintain my current lifestyle. I can assure you, there isn’t any money that gets spent on lifestyles. I try to save all of it. I even went back to living with my parents so I can save that extra dollar so I can pay off my bills. I have a loan you see. It a substantial loan but does take it’s toll.
My income is just above the industrial relations rate and per the contract that I signed on my employment I am not allowed to divulge this information. Sure, I can if I really want to. No one really cares. But I like working for this company.
What I can say though, is that having to support two families with this income, I am struggling. Bad. Really bad. I am thankful that my parents has kindly taken me back into their house rent free. This is helping a lot.
It’s unfortunate that families do break up. In reality this happens though and those of us who are in it will just have to make do with it’s consequences.
For me, it’s a loss of convenience because I now have to live under my parents house and their rules. I am old enough to live on my own and be my own boss. But because of the situation I am in I have to suck it up and sacrifice just to make sure that I can save that little bit of extra money for my plans.
What plans did you ask? I wrote about it before, it can be read at Sending Money To Philippines. I discussed how I gave just a little bit too much to my fiance that she became so dependant on me that she did not look for work. This meant that financially, I was the only person trying to make some money. Try saving money when you have your own bills to pay, no house and a partner who spends all those money that I give her each month. Sometimes I would have to send extra because she would want to do something else or that she would break something that we have to urgently pay back. That’s a lot to ask for!
My plans were to pay off as much debt as possible, get a divorce so we can marry and at the same time save some money for their applications to gain entry to Australia. These applications are not cheap you know. when I checked immigrations last. It was about AUD$2000 per application—approved or not.
I am also trying to save AUD$30,000 so that we could live comfortably for about one year or two. In our own rented space. Fully furnished. I wanted a complete comfortable home.
Two Jobs or more?
I’ve read so many times that guys normally suffer greatly in events of marriage breakdown. I concur. Not only we don’t get to see our kids often, we struggle financially too. Our ex-partners, I assume would also be on a similar situation if they live alone and not get remarried.
It’s already proven in my case, that one source of income is not good enough. I have to find another source of income just to make ends meet.
This is how my life is like at this present time as a person who has separated from his wife and kids and living it as failed marriage. Are you in this situation too? Or have thoughts on what should we be doing to get our lives back on track? I would love to read more about it in the comment box below.