Life in Australia as is even harder for people who are separated. Take for example, me. My wife and I separated back in 2009 wife in 2009. Since then, I have lived a struggled, and literally, lifeless life. You got the point? I don’t have a life. I don’t go out, I don’t see friends because I can’t afford to, time and money wise.
If I have a high paying job, it could be different. But I work as a commoner. I earn the basic award rates which puts me in a very difficult situation—cashless.
I suppose you could say, stay with your wife and kids. Financially, we would still be struggling—but not as much as I am today. But I couldn’t live that life and chose to move on instead. This is how Jobelle Alaysa and I found each other. We now have one child together and are both trying to work together so the three of us could live together here in Australia.
So, now life just got harder for me. Thankfully, my parents are there to catch me and asked to move back with them, until I can find another way to support myself and live much more comfortably. I would have been living in my car if they didn’t want me back into their house.
Paying child support
As a father who loves his kids, I pay more than what I am supposed to pay in child support. This is my choice. I am not paying much more than what I need to though, because, I can’t afford it. If I can I will. But not now. Almost half of my monthly wages goes to child support. My ex-wife whom I have 3 kids with, and my future wife and family who still lives in Philippines.
Socialising is out
Considering that, my working hours is a shift work—we work all around the clock and so my shifts includes working at night, morning and afternoon, including weekends. My social life was non existent in the first place. But being separated to my kids made it worse, because, now, any available weekends that I can get, I do try to see my kids and spend my time there. I would rather spend my time with my kids anyway, and bond with them. They are precious and fragile little wonders and they need both their mother and father. So I chose to be with them and to show them my support and to show them that even though, their mother and father are no longer together. They are still loved and we will always be there for them.
General cost of living
Bills, debts, you know general cost of living. If say, my ex-wife and I were still together, these bills will always be there. It won’t go away. But the main issues of being separated is the child support. I wrote earlier almost half of my monthly wages goes to child support!
So, I eat, less quality food, I eat food that are cheap and try not to spend a cent so I can gain some traction of getting back to my feet by saving as much as a I can.
Being a parent
If you didn’t get what I was saying above, I meant to say, financially, fathers who are separated (and including their ex-partners) are virtually, financially ruined. But finance isn’t the only thing that gets affected. Emotional as well. My kids see less of me and being a father, my influence as a father is far less effective because, I am not active in their daily lives. That suck bad!
So, whenever I am with my kids, I try to be as influential and as positive as much as I can be so they can grow up a bit wiser and more prepared for their own lives.
Are you living in Australia and is separated or divorced? Share your stories below, I would love to hear from you and learn from you on how you are coping with this.